The Rowdy Sales Page Template™

Write your whole damn sales page in an hour or less

Plug & Play. Cheeky. ADHD-Friendly. Built for people with more ideas than time.

You don’t need a funnel. Or a funnel cake. Or another masterclass you’ll ghost halfway through.

What you do need is a sales page that sounds like you, sells what you’ve been quietly sitting on, & doesn’t feel like you’re back in English class asking for a hall pass to cry.

& you can have it in under an hour.
With snacks. And probably one sock on.

 If you’ve been Googling “sales page examples” while pretending you’re about to work…

Then meet The Rowdy Rhetoric Sales Page Template...for the ADHD creative, feral geniuses, & big-hearted weirdos who just need a damn shortcut to get their offer out already.

This is the plug-and-play sales page template for the burnt-out brilliance crowd.

The ones who think faster than they type, & still haven’t “officially” launched that one idea from 3 months ago.

BEFORE & AFTER

📍 Before:You’re spiraling in a blank doc, trying to decide if “transform” sounds too bro-marketer-y & rewriting the headline 9 times.

📍 After:You’re publishing a spicy lil sales page that actually sounds like you.
It’s clear, clever, & ready to collect coin before your coffee’s cold.

🎁 WHAT’S INSIDE

Here’s what you get inside the template

✅ A fill-in-the-blank sales page that practically writes itself
✅ Real examples in every section (so you’re never staring at “Insert Pain Point Here” again)
✅ 7 spicy voice memos from me to walk you through it, like your rowdy creative BFF so you know the why & have a little guidance (not just copy-paste it and pray)
✨ Bonus sections for long-form copy.

 STILL SPIRALING?

🙃 “What if it doesn’t sound like me?”
It will. This thing bends to your voice like a well-trained ex who finally learned your love language.

😬 “What if I’m not ready?”
You are. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be reading this. This is your launch permission slip.

🫠 “What if I mess it up?”
Sweetheart, it’s a Google Doc. You can’t mess it up. You can tweak it, post it ugly, & make money anyway.

WHO THIS IS FOR

This is for you if:

• You’re spiraling over what to write
• You want clarity + conversions without the cringe
• You’ve got a rebellious streak, a Gmail account, & maybe a half-finished offer called “Untitled 3”

Not for:

• Brandbots
• Funnel bros
• Anyone allergic to fun, fast, or rowdy metaphors

ABOUT ME

Hey, I’m Tiff.
Creative chaos wrangler. Brand voice psychic. ADHD baddie with and a Google Doc full of rage & redemption.

I made this for the past versions of me: brilliant, broke, burnt out & still trying to write a damn sales page between breakdowns.

This template won’t save your business.
But it will help you sell one offer.
Clearly. Quickly. With your whole chest.

& sometimes, that’s all you need to start the fire again.

 FAQ (FOR THE “BUT WAIT…” CREW)

Q: Can I really write a sales page in an hour?

A: Yep. Especially if you mute the group chat and stop pretending you’re “just getting inspo.”

Q: Do I need a big audience for this to work?
A: Nope. You just need a link & the guts to post it.

Q: What if I’m not a writer?
A: Even better. This was made for you, not Hemingway.